Goodbye to my Mom

Posted on by Julia

September 21, 2024

My sisters called to let me know our mother passed away at 4:00 AM this morning. She had been suffering from Alzheimer’s for many years. Mom didn’t want any extreme measures taken to keep her alive.

For the last few years, she was mostly unable to talk or walk. The image of my mother lying in bed, trying to talk will remain with me. I went to visit mom in March. With my white hair, I look like my mom’s mother. Mom seemed to recognize me (I believe she thought I was her mother.) and tried to talk. She was very excited and seemed so pleased to see me.

It has become hard to remember the patient mother who spent so much time teaching me to read as I struggled with dyslexia, the hours she spent teaching me to sew, the times she made sure I made it to 4-H competitions, and the effort she made so we could play in the school band. She did her best to make sure we got to do things besides chores and school work.

I remember her showing me how to hoe weeds in the garden, how to harvest vegetables from the garden and how to process the raw vegetables.

I remember picking up pecans with her and my sisters. I remember her taking us to pick blackberries in the fields and wild huckleberries in the woods. I remember her showing us how to eat wild muscadines.

She knew so much about the biology of the South. As children, she was always teaching us as went on walks on the farm.

I remember the beautiful Easter dresses she made for us.

The biscuits mom made for breakfast were delicious. She’d make breakfast while we did chores before school. She would fry bacon or sausage so we could have biscuit sandwiches.

The mom who loved me and my sisters and who loved her grandchildren slowly faded away from Alzheimer’s disease. She became confused and behaved strangely. At times, she was violent. She didn’t recognize people and even thought my father was her brother. Sometimes she’d remember she was married and other times she didn’t. Later in the disease progression, she seemed to completely forget she had been married.

Mom’s body was tough and just kept going while her mind continued to dissolve. In the past, there were times we thought she was transitioning to death, only for her to rally.

Mom is now at rest from her struggles.

My Mother

39 thoughts on “Goodbye to my Mom”

  2. I am so sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers are coming your way. Alzheimer’s and dementia are tough. My mother had dementia. Remember the good things. They will always remind you of the good times you had with your mom. She will always be in your heart.

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      1. You are very welcome. That is the best way to remember her too. My mother was never the same after dementia. I prefer to remember her before dementia too. She will always be in your heart. She sounds like she was a good lady.

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    1. Thank you for your words of sympathy. I look forward to getting my photos out of storage when we move. I do want to find the pictures I have of mom when she was bright and full of life.

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  7. my deepest condolences on the passing of your Mom, Julia. I am so sorry for your loss. May the best memories you had together (like the ones you shared in your post) be a comfort to you now.

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  8. I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a mother is hard and a big transition, even if she was not the person she used to be due to Alzheimers. Your mother reminds me of my mother, who also taught me to sew and do other useful skills. My mom also suffered from memory loss, but passed on before it got too bad. Sometimes it is hard to remember the times she was very competent and active, due to the last few years when she was not and it was hard.

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  9. Julia, A beautiful rememberance of your mom – very touching.  It’s good to strongly remember all the wonderful things about her, and let the painful memories fade away.   I didn’t know that you suffered from dyslexia – I tried to do my bit by volunteering with the Lions, recording books for the “Reading For The Blind and Dyslexic” program.  And I didn’t know that you played an instrument in the school band,  You’re even more talented than I thought! As you say, your mom is at rest now – may she rest in peace. I will pray for her. Howard

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    1. Howard, thank you for your sympathy. I am sure my mom is resting in peace now.

      I admire your volunteering to help people read. Dyslexia is often not diagnosed. Fortunately for me, mom was a teacher with access to a special reading kit from the University of Southern Mississippi. She spent hours teaching me the shapes of words so I could read. I still struggle with numbers. I played the saxophone in the band. I have no sense of rhythm, so I wasn’t any good. It was fun to try.

      Love,
      Julia

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  16. I’m so sorry to read of your mother’s struggles.

    I came to your blog because I realized I hadn’t seen any post from you in quite a while. I was asked if I wanted to follow!! I don’t know why our connection was dissolved. Hopefully I can follow you again.

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